Life.

Seems like an apt reminder as I finish my last fall semester of undergrad.

Changing Plans

When the end of high school roll around many students start hearing a symphony of, "So, what are you going to do after graduation?".  The assumption with high school nowadays is that you'll either go to college or join the workforce.

Graduating from college is a little different though.  At this stage, people expect you to get a real job.  Maybe you go to grad school.  You've invested in your education and it's been very much worth it, but now it's time to pay back on that investment.  Over the past few years I've had this set-in-stone vision of what I would do after graduating from TLU and it went something like this:

1. Go to graduate school to get my Master's in Counseling Psychology.
2. Work as a therapist for children and adolescents.
3. Maybe get my Ph.D. sometime after that.

But as this semester has started, I've begun to realize some things.  I'm just not ready for grad school yet.  I've spent over 3/4 of my life in school.  I don't know what it's like to not do school, and I know how to do it well.  It's my comfort zone, but I think it's time to leave that comfort zone.  Another huge piece in this puzzle is that I don't actually know what I want to do.  I know the path that I could easily take to be "successful", but I don't know what I need to do.  It was during the opening convocation of my freshman year, that I first heard this quote:

"The vocation for you is the one in which your deep gladness and the world's deep need meet -- something that not only makes you happy but that the world needs to have done."

My main problem is that I just don't know how to put together what makes me happy with what needs to be done.  I have some inklings or whispers of things that I want to do, but I'm not sure how to pull them together.  I know that I want to help children.  I want to help them explore the world and learn and thrive and see it as the beautiful place that I know it can be.  I want to help children understand that they are important and that they can do great things no matter what background they come from or what other people have told them in the past.  Another aspect of this is that I want to help the adults in these children's lives understand how they can better interact with and understand them.  I have pieces of things that I care about, but I don't know how to meld them into one career.

I recently began exploring some different Americorps programs.  The programs that make up Americorps support nonprofit organizations in a variety of fields and in communities all across the country.  My plan is to apply with programs in the Austin area, particularly ones working with children and education.  This way I'll get the change of scenery that I've been craving but without having to sacrifice progress towards my goals.  By working with the populations that I want to help in my career, I'm hoping to gain a better understanding of what actually needs to be done and how I can help it get accomplished.

Overall, I'm feeling confident and excited about this new path.  I think that it's going to give me a chance to grow more as a person while also allowing me to help the people that I want to help.  The future is looking bright and I keep being reminded that sometimes we need to give ourselves options and be unafraid to take the road less travelled.

Everything's Changing

Well, the time has come.  Everyone is moving back to campus, settling into their homes for the semester and looking brightly towards the days ahead.  The freshman moved in on Saturday and everyone else began their move in today.  I don't live on campus anymore, but I had writing tutor training so I was on campus anyhow and it suddenly hit me that in a year, this won't be mine.

Yes, Texas Lutheran University will always be my alma mater and the place that I grew up, but the leadership will pass on to the next generation of students.  I will move on with my life and my academic pursuits, but TLU will still be here growing and becoming better for that next round of students.  

My friend Stephanie and I grabbed an early dinner at Hein today and I think that's when it suddenly hit me how different the campus has become just over one summer.  Where there used to be wood paneling there's now bright burgundy paint and where there used to just be grey there are now smiling faces of TLU students along with the phrases "Learn Boldly" and "Live to Inspire".  From filters in the water fountains to flags showing students engaged in a variety of pursuits on every one of the tall lamp posts lining the campus's sidewalks to an entire brand new residence hall--everything's changing.

And I know that it's silly, to think that this place will always be a part of me when I've only been here for 3 years.  But that's just how it is.  This is my home.  This is where I began to discover who I was and who I am and who I want to become.  This is where learned how to forge beautiful friendships and that sometimes those friendships will change and that you just have to accept that, no matter how much it hurts.  This is where I began to learn that I can conquer anything if I believe that I can.  This is where I learned that even when circumstances seem impossibly overwhelming, there will always be someone there to support me and help me and love me.

Tomorrow morning I'll go to my last opening convocation here at TLU.  Then in the afternoon I'll have my last first day of class here at TLU.  And while I'm feeling rather bittersweet about this being the final round, I'm determined to make this the best year yet.

Senior Check-In!!

Just checked in for my senior year at TLU and I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that I was a freshman three years ago! One thing I definitely don't miss: the line wrapping around Tschoepe for check-in before we could just do it online!

And here's a bonus picture of me and the Maddy-kinz!

I asked her how her shirt got so dirty and this was her response: "ICE CREAM AND DIRT!!"

August 2

Finally got my books for school.  Buying books is bittersweet for me; I love having the new books and paging through them and getting excited about the learning journey that I'm about to embark on, but I also hate having to part with the money.  I got books for just four classes and my bill totaled almost $400.  Way more than the typical college student can afford, but about average from my experience. In case you were wondering, this is what it looks like when you buy $400 worth of text books.

This is what $400 worth of textbooks looks like...and they're all USED! 

I also cleaned out my car (which needed it SO badly) and made Rosemary-Lemon Chicken for dinner. (Of course I forgot to take an after picture!)

I threw it all into the crock pot around noon before I went down to school and then by the time I was done cleaning my car at like six it was ready.  I used boneless skinless chicken breasts and did everything the same except that I added 1/2 cup of chicken broth to keep it from drying out.  Katie also made mac & cheese to go with it, as well as some steamed broccoli.  Absolutely delicious and definitely something that we'll be making again!!

Days like this make me kind of sad that summer's about to come to an end.  I love this feeling of freedom and independence and just being able to do what I want and live.  At the same time though, I can't wait to get back into the swing of classes and for everyone who's not in Seguin to get back.  I'm already feeling like this is going to be one amazing semester!

13 Things Before 2013

     Here's a tip: be careful who you're roommates with.  My one roommate and I spent the last two days getting our old house clean.   Let me tell you, it was AWFUL.  Mostly from the cats that one of my former roommates had, but still.  I haven't lived there since May when my lease was up so at least I didn't have to move any of my stuff, but cleaning was still not enjoyable.  At least it's over now!

Anyways, I also realized today that school starts in less than three weeks! And what does that mean? 

GRADUATION!  And in celebration of that, I decided to finish making my list of 13 things that I want to do before I graduate in 2013.

13 Things Before I Graduate In 2013

1. Take photographs of your favorite places around campus. Our Lady. Try to get at least one shot from the top of a building!
2. Pay off your first car. Put $10 in your savings account every week. Don’t take it out. Create a budget for yourself and STICK TO IT.
3. Fill the fountain in front of Langner with rubber duckies. :)
4. Get new glasses. *cough cough* WARBY PARKER *cough cough*
5. Create a grown up wardrobe. Blazers! Pumps! Pencil skirts! OH MY!! (Okay, this one may partially be an excuse to go shopping. Whatever.)
6. Have a crazy ridiculous (yet safe!) spring break. I smell a road trip in the making...
7. Do a real bell run!
8. Finish all of the games on the sticks that you and Emily made. ;)
9. Go out for a drink with a professor.
10. Vote in your first presidential election!!!!
11. Tailgate at homecoming!
12. Go to the palm reader across from campus on Court Street.
13. Take the GRE. Apply to grad schools.  Graduate. Remember how hard you’ve worked and think of all of the children you’re whose lives you’re going to impact. No one can stop you if you believe in yourself.